Weekend Guide: 11.27.2020

Good natured conspiracy theories

Nov 27, 2020

I read Chariots of the Gods? by Erik Von Daniken in high school. Like any religious text, COTG is pure insanity - detailing how human civilization was able to progress at light speed with help from an alien race. Daniken posits that humans were gifted technologies and religions by alien civilizations who were welcomed as gods. Cowabunga, baby!

For me, this was electric stuff. I never dug on Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or any mass market nerd sci-fi. In ancient astronaut theory I found my own little slice of the cosmos. It helped me shape my worldview. I used it to explain everything. My own little religion! The pyramids, electricity, gravity - you name it. No one could tell me I was wrong. It was perfect for a teenage boy. It was harmless.

All of that seems like forever ago. I had a flip phone and limited access to the internet. I was connected, but not connected enough to let the connectedness takeover my life. This was when conspiracies were fun. Freemasons, The Bilderberg Group, Knights Templar! I really miss the feeling of discovery. Like a suburban Vespucci, I felt like I was discovering uncharted territories. Or maybe I was just young and hungry and now, I am old.

In 2020, conspiracy theories are no longer fun. They’ve been weaponized. We all know the score. We’re living it. Q, Pizza gate, etc. The leader of the free world retweets them daily. In short, they’re no longer the stuff of nerdy fairy tales.

But just when you’ve lost all hope. Just when you are resigned to that fact this type of thinking has been lost to the reddit trolls - Utah’s wildlife agency finds a fucking monolith in the desert!

Whoever/whatever embedded this monolith in the ground in the Utah desert is on my team. This big ass slab of metal in the desert has captured the imagination of millions. Minimalist sculptor? Ancient Astronauts? Teenagers? Who knows? Who cares!? Since its origins are still a mystery, we’re left to speculate. This is exactly what we need.

Whoever did this surely gets it. We need fun. We need something ambiguous. Something with no black or white, blue or red, right or wrong. Something that just is.

Hey, who knows? Maybe this will speed up human evolution like in 2001: A Space Odyssey. I don’t think there is anything wrong with putting a little faith into that idea. It’s harmless. We could use all the help we can get.